Years ago, when I left home for college, I was leaving a lot behind. From a crazy home life to family members to friends, college was an open door for me. By no means am I saying the college journey was easy; I would always tell people that, “College is more than about the classes; you learn more about yourself than anything.” The sad thing is, many of us who have gone to college & made it out, didn’t have much support from those back home. What I mean by this is that many of us were the first in our families to go to college, to seek the degrees, & had to ‘figure out’ how to make it in this new world that no one in our families were ever exposed to. There was no way I could go & call my parents to ask them for help in the Calculus class that they never took.
I loved my college years (not that the classes weren’t HARD or that I didn’t cry many tears), but they made me who I am today. In the midst of not having the full support, or understanding of the college journey, of those at home, God gave me awesome people along the way who have helped me through it all & many of whom I am in contact with today. I wouldn’t have made it through those years without them or God. He knew exactly what I needed & what He was doing!
But with being the ones who have ‘gotten out’ of the past situations at home & being the ones who’ve ‘made it’ there are many expectations that we didn’t see coming. For instance, various family members, & maybe even some friends, may think that ‘you’ve got it.’ Fill in the blank for whatever the ‘it’ may be for these people & their expectations. However, most of the time, IT is MONEY. They are looking for you to bail them out of some situation that they have gotten themselves into or that they have always been in for years. Little do they know, or care, that you may have bills of your own, or even college loans that you are paying back because you had to do what you needed to do in order to ‘make it’ through college because there was no help back home.
Somewhere along the lines, the hard work that many of us did in order to make a better lives for ourselves became the saving of everyone else who saw the dreams of doing better for ourselves their rescue. I’m not sure why or when this began to happen, but I do see it as an on-going pattern for many of the people in my circle.
Don’t misunderstand what I am saying, I am one of the people who will give & give until I can’t give anymore, but a line has to be drawn & an awakening occurs when this giving or ‘helping’ is at your expense (whether it begins to impact your health, budget, or own household). When do you know when to take the step back & stop, or even for some, what I call the “Survivor’s Remorse” of getting out not to impact you? Believe me, God will show you. You cannot feel guilty for being ‘the one’ who made it through your tears, late night studying, paying back student loans, & living the life you prayed for & worked for to keep pulling up those who won’t change or are doing the same thing year after year, looking for you to help them. In letting go, we truly have to let God step in & do His will in the lives of the people we love & care about. We also have to get out of His way in order for Him to help us. (I’m praying about this daily!! I’m still a work in process)
A few scriptures on letting go & moving forward:
- God will give you the peace when you step back and let go: “You will keep him in perfect peace, Whose mind is stayed on You, Because he trusts in You.” –Isaiah 26:3 NKJV
- Look forward & stay focused on God & His calling on your life. He’s established everything for you & will continue to do so: 25Let your eyes look straight ahead, And your eyelids look right before you. 26Ponder the path of your feet, And let all your ways be established. –Proverbs 4:25-26 NKJV
- Look to God: “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.” –Colossians 3:2 NKJV
- God’s plans for you were established long before you were born. There is a reason He chose you for your journey! God’s plans are amazing: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” –Jeremiah 29:11 NKJV
I pray that this helps someone!!
Until next time.
Blessings,
© Lisi P, 2017
